It’s Me!

Most of us are familiar with the song, it’s me, it’s me, it’s me oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer, not my mother, not my father…well…you know the rest. ????

We always need prayer. However, today, I want to take a different approach to those words.

It’s me, it’s me, it’s me O Lord! I am holding myself back, making excuses, playing the victim, procrastinating, refusing to leave my comfort zone or blaming others for my past/present/future. Oftentimes, we can be our own worst enemy when it comes to reaching our full potential.

Acknowledging that it’s me, shows that you are taking ownership. Me is singular and although someone else may be fully or partially responsible for your current state, ultimately me and God get to determine the outcome. There is only one person required for making a change and that’s me, which I think is wonderful news!

Last month’s blog was about being made whole and I discussed some of the reasons that we live broken and unfulfilled lives as Christians.  Well today, I want to dig a little deeper and discuss how we can be the cause of our setbacks and lack of progress.

 

First of all, I believe, self-sabotage can play a huge role in our lives. It can determine our experiences, our belief about ourselves and what we think we’re capable of. We intentionally and even sometimes unintentionally stay stuck so our lives remain the same year after year. All the while, we have a laundry list of people and circumstance to blame; however, our name should be at the top of that list!  We want better but don’t think we deserve it or can achieve it so our behavior cancels out the very things we desire.

In the words of Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby: “Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.” (Ouch!)

I want to share a story that I feel gives a great depiction of self-sabotage……taken from:  http://agilelifestyle.net/self-sabotage

Once upon a time, there was an eagle who lived like a chicken. His owner loved the eagle so much that he fed it chicken-feed and kept it in a barn with other chickens, so it would never go hungry.

One day, a man passing by asked the owner why the eagle, proudest of all the birds, was living in a barn with chickens.

His owner said, “I love my eagle so much, I have given it chicken-feed every day and kept it safe in the barn. It no longer needs to hunt or fly.”

The man was curious at this. He wanted to know if the eagle really had lost its ability to fly. He picked up the eagle and said, “You belong to the sky and not to the earth. Stretch forth your wings and fly.”

The eagle gave him a curious look, jumped down from out of his hands, and went back to eat chicken-feed off the dirt.

The next day, the man tried again. He went to the roof of the house with the eagle and said, “You belong to the sky and not to the earth. Stretch forth your wings and fly.”

The eagle, fearing the height, wriggled free from the man, and jumped back down to the ground to be with the other chickens.

Finally, on the third day, the man took the eagle to the top of a mountain and said, “You belong to the sky and not to the earth. Stretch forth your wings and fly.”

The eagle, trembling but seeing no way down from the mountain, stretched his wings and flew. Slowly at first, but then up, up, and away towards the sun.

What’s the moral to this parable? The eagle had it in him all along. But his upbringing/environment and lack of belief in himself led to self-sabotage.

 

Below are some nuggets that I extracted from this story:

The farmer did not intentionally hinder the eagle, he did it out of love, to make sure he was cared for and had shelter. Nevertheless, his actions caused the eagle to adopt behaviors that were not part of his original make up.

In our own lives, we too can have family/friends who try to convince us that we should stay on a certain level or behave a certain way, while it may be said from a place of love, only God has the true blueprint for our lives.

The eagle adapted to an environment that he was never designed for. He had the ability to fly all along, but it took someone else to notice him, be persistent and take him completely out of his comfort zone. It wasn’t until he was on the mountain that he started experiencing his full potential.

Just like the eagle, we were made for so much more. Never allow man-made boxes, labels or controlled environments to confine you.  Our potential is “built in”, determined by God before we were even born. So that means, we woke up fully equipped and amazing! And all it takes is faith and action to set in motion all of the wonderful things God placed inside of us!

Admitting that we self-sabotage is the first step, but we must also be willing to acknowledge the ways that we sabotage ourselves. God will help us challenge those behaviors but we must do the work to correct them. It is not a one and done process but requires consistency and commitment. When we refuse to change, we also choose to stay the same.

 

Let’s look at some ways that self-sabotage shows up in our lives:

1. Procrastination: delaying or postponing something, avoiding something that needs to be done, putting off doing something out of habitual carelessness or laziness. This is one of the main ways that I sabotage myself, still a work in progress! ????

2. Fear: being afraid of the unknown, outcome, failure, disappointment or change. Faith and fear are opposites and can’t co-exist. Fear leads to procrastination, stagnation, unrealized potential and a lack of growth. Fear is a spirit that God did not give us.

3. Over-eating and over indulgence: excessive consumption of anything including food, social media, spending, alcohol/drugs, relationships.

4. Giving up on ourselves: when things get difficult (trust me, they will), it’s so easy to quit but remember why you started. Per my former trainer, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it! You may need to rest and regroup but never give up on yourself or God’s plan for you.

5. Avoiding hard work. It’s going to be hard but be committed to doing it anyway. In the words of Les Brown: If it’s hard, then do it hard!

6. Not making yourself a priority. Always putting the needs of others before your own. Nurturing your dreams are important too! You matter and your unique gifts are needed. Make time to continually invest in you!

7. Negative self-talk and self-doubt: Feeling that, you are not as good as the next person. You are not as smart. You don’t speak as well. You feel no one will listen to you. You are certain that you will mess up. You are not as good as so-and-so. Your gift is insignificant without a platform or a certain number of likes/followers. Newsflash: comparison is the thief of joy and you are one of a kind! So cast down the negative chatter in your mind and go be great!

8. Planning, being inspired but not taking action: Oh, the countless times I have done this. Inspiration is wonderful but action and completion are the main ingredients for change!

In the words of Henry Ford, “Faith without action is delusion. Faith does not wait for miracles but produces them. If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you are right.”

9. Perfectionism: All or nothing thinking, it has to be perfect and you don’t allow for mistakes. Perfection is not achievable anyway. Are you progressing? Are you growing? Focus on learning as you go and grow forward. God does not require perfection so don’t put that pressure on yourself. We are being perfected in HIM.  Perfectionism is probably why I procrastinate so much…hmmm, yet another work in progress! LOL

 

Now let’s look at how we can overcome self-sabotage:

1. Acknowledge that you do it. Seek to understand and identify the root cause of your self-sabotaging (procrastination, fear of failure, opinions of others, perfectionism, etc.).  How does self-sabotage show up in your life? What are some of the reason you do it? (Being honest with yourself is the first step)

2. Accept who you are in Christ. You are made new in Him. You are more than a conqueror. You can overcome any temptation or stronghold. Knowing what God says about you is a must.
3. Recognize your potential through Christ. There is nothing you can’t do through His strength. He will always provide a way of escape for every pitfall and temptation. You are unstoppable if the Greater One lives inside of you…but you have to believe it!
4. Renew your mind daily by putting on the mind of Christ. God did not give you a spirit of fear. You have the power of self-discipline. You have to cast down imaginations and take negative thoughts captive every single day. Lay aside the sin and behavior that impedes your progress.
5. Develop and activate a plan for how you will combat the feelings/behaviors associated with self-sabotage. Find scriptures and pray targeted prayers for your specific struggle, self-encouragement, have an accountability partner, write about your feelings instead of acting on them, talk to God beforehand and ask for strength, celebrate your progress big and small

Overcoming self-sabotage requires that we be honest, intentional, persistent, and committed to change.

God created us for much more than we realize but we have to believe and take action. Just like the eagle, we too need to ask God to put us in a place that is totally uncomfortable and unfamiliar. A place that will cause us to give birth to our potential and maximize the gifts/abilities that He placed inside of us. He knows exactly what you are capable of, so walk close with him and trust him when he pushes you.

A couple years ago, I asked God to push me, to break down the wall that I had built to shield myself from the unknown. To let my norm become so unbearable that I would choose to embrace all that is within me. Well guess what? He did just that! And I nervously surrendered to the process. That’s how Party of ONE was born. You are reading my blogs today because I decided to believe God’s plan over what I felt or believed about myself. Blogging is new and totally unfamiliar to me. There are days that I doubt myself, second guess what I am writing or wonder if it even makes sense, LOL. But least I’m spreading my wings and starting to fly!

God is getting ready to push you too but don’t be afraid. He is right there with you. All that you need to live in purpose is already inside of you. Get ready to fly and soar to new heights in Him!

From one eagle to another, it’s time to spread your wings, let’s fly! We will grow as we go! ????

 

Please feel free to leave a comment if this blog resonates with you. I would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks for hanging out with me. I’ll see you next month!

**Giveaway below is now Closed** All 10 gift cards have been claimed. Come back next month as there are giveaways monthly. 

Gift Card Giveaway: The first 10 people to leave a comment will win a $10 Starbucks gift card. You will be contacted via email if you are one of the winners. You must reside in the USA.

You are celebrated and appreciated my fellow Party of ONE!

 

God’s best always,

Leslie

 

Scriptures to ponder:

Hebrews 12:1-2      Rom 7:21-25      Philippians 2:5

Psalm 51:10      Ephesians 2:10     Deuteronomy 30:19

Matthew 6:33     Psalm 37: 4-5